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TIME to WAKE UP, it's 2016 and JANUARY HOROSCOPES are HERE!

Happy 2016.... and welcome to the year we are all going to awaken and create a fresh, liberated new paradigm for ourselves... And to get us started, the January horoscopes for every sign are up here. January is a cracker, with: 1. Revolutionary Uranus newly direct; we are fighting fit and ready to totally fuq with the dominant paradigm -in a positive, life affirming way, of course... 2. As if Uranus isn't arcing us up enough, the rebel god is also in heated sync with bitch goddess Lilith. So we are just simply taking no shizz when it comes to asserting our truth, challenging ourselves to greater levels of personal authenticity and fighting for our right to do so, where necessary. 3. Warrior

VENUS is one WILD MAMA in SAGITTARIUS

Image:Helmut Newton So Venus just can't wait to bust a move in freewheeling Sagittarius- from 5.16pm Dec 30th AEDT- Jan 25th. The feminine principle of Venus really claims her wild, Artemesian, wilderness, untamed I am woman hear me roar aspect in Sag. Venus is about values, and the primary value of Sag is to be Free. And not just a little bit loose within the confines of a broader, opressive regime but actually, no-compromise, captain of her own destiny, riding into the sunset, unbridled wild-animal Freedom. And for Venus this means taking no shizz from any lingering partriarchal crap that seeks to dominate her wildling female spirit. (I think that every Sag secretly wishes they were one o

HAPPY FESTIVUS FULL MOON

Full Moon in Cancer coming up, and as you've no doubt already gathered it's exact at 10.11pm on Christmas Day AEDT. That would be coming up to peak Cancerian familial, comfort eating, communing-with-thy-tribe emo love fest OR discord just as we're all digesting the day's banquet, pouring yet another champers and trying to bite our tongue re some tedious family dynamic crap OR blissfully bonding, in the loving bosom of our family/favorite loved ones gathered together OR scrambling around trying to keep everyone fed and not fuq up the sauce for christmas pudding whilst keeping the kids entertained and topping up the in-law's sherry OR poignantly aware of any lack-of tribe this year OR grinchin

PISCES HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

PISCES/PISCES RISING So Neptune (your mystical ruler) in your sign is going to be squaring tough-assed Saturn in your biz sector for a while now (till November, to be exact). So what you are doing is cultivating a healthy relationship between: 1. Your own peculiar brand of personal magic/creative fluidity/un-pindownable, shimmering glamour/otherworldly mysticism and 2. The solid, material realities of your vocational life and the wordly biz environment in which it is happening. This is such an exceptional opportunity to identify the right niche in the so-called ‘practical’ world in which to shine your light, find fabulous fame and fortune (?), establish a workable biz model for this and trul

AQUARIUS HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

AQUARIUS/AQUARIUS RISING Not that you ever have, but you’re really averse to thinking in small, limiting, bourgeois or petty terms right now. I mean you’ve always been a kook and a visionary –an intellectual maverick in a field of sheeple, but now you’re ready to really think big about your life... Uranus, your ruling planet, is awakening so many new possibilities right now; your brain is like a fertile field ready for new neural pathways, and new, life affirming attitudes and beliefs that you just know are going to serve you better for the rest of 2016. And Lilith is egging you on to fearlessly apply these concepts to the bigger life plan. Yes, January ushers in a year of bold new moves and

CAPRICORN HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

CAPRICORN/CAPRICORN RISING The Capricorn New Moon of the 10th sets up many of the themes for the rest of January, and indeed the rest of 2016: This Moon is on Pluto, so it’s awakening a primal kind of lust for life in you; you intend to thrive, and you’re fine if that means transforming any grotty/limiting habits and obsessions from last year into more productive psychic material. To the extent that you’re tapping into a fierce drive within yourself, early month, but can’t quite articulate to yourself what you want to do with it -what with Mercury retrograde in your sign? When Mercury turns direct on Pluto from the 25th you suddenly, instinctively, come up with a coherent plan for the rest o

SAGITTARIUS HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

SAGITTARIUS/SAGITTARIUS RISING Ok so we need to talk about the Sagittarian career. The thing is that Saturn in your sign is fully in play right now, and as you’ve probably already figured out this is not swanning about being your normal boho, devil-may-care, wild-child astro. Nuh-uh. No doubt you have already had some authority figure, or scenario in your life lecturing you to grow the fuq up in recent times, and you’ve already done the whole foot stamping I don’t wanna grow up thing in response, lol. Did this work? No, because there is something deep in your soul that is so ready to step up and take your integral, respected, accomplished, success-mongering place in the world as part of a ne

SCORPIO HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

SCORPIO/SCORPIO RISING In case you’re wondering about that limbic, restless, primal, exhilarating surge of energy suddenly bursting forth from your very core? That’s Mars, your ancient patron planet, rocking your sign from Jan 4th until August! Mars is a primeval life force that drives us forward to grab life by the throat, embrace every experience fully/ fuq passionately/fight for our rights/conquer/achieve/better ourselves at every opportunity, and generally have a good time being alive. You love this! And in return Mars loves you right back… So the first half of 2016 is basically fabulous, unstoppable, life-affirming Scorpio season –believe me, you’re about to have some fun! (finally, I h

LIBRA HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

LIBRA/LIBRA RISING Bitch goddess Lilith is in your sign, and you are totally not taking any shizz from anybody right now. So you have Uranus razzing your love life, and it’s oh so easy to get caught up in some volatile, emotionally de-stabilising crap that potentially distracts you from your true essence… But it’s not meant to play out like that - this is really an opportunity to clarify your core connections with some honest, unsentimental self-awareness: If you’re in love (no matter how wacky) own it, embrace it and take a risk on your beautiful true feelings. But if some crush/entanglement is not so much love as just drama for the sake of it? Maybe time to admit that, and move on? And of

VIRGO HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

VIRGO/VIRGO RISING The really big astro coming up is lucky Jupiter on the magical Destiny Point, it’s all about grabbing a hold of abundant, expansive future possibilities and guess what? It’s happening in your sign! So yes, you may have Chiron triggering certain ancient love wounds, where you realize old romantic pain belongs in the past (obviously); and you release that shizz by simply bringing a more positive, current, healthy attitude to any lover on the scene right now, or embracing your currently liberating single status. You realize there’s no point dragging old emotional demons into the Virgo happiness of today; and give thyself permission to construct a fresh, promising new attitude

LEO HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

LEO/LEO RISING The Leo Force Awakens! The new Moon of the 10th is a lovely blank new slate, upon which to write a new chapter of physical vitality, life-affirming, healthful daily habits and a productively efficient work ethic. You are reborn as an even better version of lovely you; and yes, you must bring a deliberately positive intention to this personal transformation. Brilliant. Also, lucky Jupiter is firing up the Destiny Point in your income/self-esteem sector; exact mid-late Jan but basically active till June! This is all about you: Addressing and vanquishing any tedious old karma around wounded intimacy/family relations. And allowing yourself to embrace beautiful vulnerability again;

CANCER HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

CANCER/CANCER RISING The New Moon of the 10th is a nice kick-start for the Cancerian love life: You have Pluto saying stay passionate, and prepared to explore the full, transformative potential of personal relationships. If you’re partnered, you’re not cruising along in autopilot so much as committed to learning something new about one another (the better to stay mutually enchanted) as often as possible? Or, if single, any new contenders about to turn up could be way more wacko/sexy life changing than expected, and you embrace that. No way do you dodge this fervent romantic astro; it’s totally life affirming and emotionally awakening – notwithstanding some odd, yet strangely revealing ‘us ch

GEMINI HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

GEMINI/GEMINI RISING It’s a bit of a trip having hard-nosed Saturn in your love sector for so long, huh? I mean your Mercurial nature can only take so much emotional boot-camp before you start wanting to flit around, and entertain your kaleidoscopic attention span with something (anything) more flippant. It’s not even that you’re anti-commitment/ true-love, it’s just that you need to divert your mind with extracurricular mental stimulation (a game of chess/golf, shallow gossip, shopping, completing your PhD, whatever) in between times; as protracted romantic analysis can render you quite tetchy. Ok, but love goddess Venus on Saturn during the New Moon in your sex/intimacy sector on Jan 10th

TAURUS HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

TAURUS/TAURUS RISING Well friendships are a bit weird right now, but ultimately it’s not so much about specific buddies being problematic, as your broader concept of ‘fitting in’ with your tribe changing. Perhaps you want to evolve in a new personal direction, and your current crew aren’t quite where that new path is at? Or you take time out from the social fray to do your own thing, and some friendships re-kindle and thrive as you hit your new, personal stride more than others? Or you find some new spiritual/platonic soul mates to boost your inspiration and value-add to the current scene? Any case the important thing is that you are embracing a spectacular, juicy new phase of your own creat

ARIES HOROSCOPE for JANUARY 2016

Image: Jacob Sadrak ARIES/ARIES RISING The really big news right now is Mars, your hot-blooded, full power, randy ruling planet into your 8th, sex/intimacy/shared money sector for over 6 months! It’s so rare for Mars to spend this long in one place, and in your case it’s an amazing source of pure energy with which to lush up your love, sex and money life. There is something primal about the 8th house, and Mars the energiser here is a full voltage, seemingly unlimited power source to carry you through until August –so what you gonna do with all that firepower, huh? Here’s a clue; lucky Jupiter activating the Destiny Point in your work sector right on the New Moon in your biz/career sector on

ROMANCE WTF?

So Venus is trine Neptune this week, exact today. This sort of thing is often associated with divine, kismet-kissed true romance, I mean Venus rules love and Neptune is all magical and soul-matey, so what could possibly go wrong?? Well what I've actually seen with my clients etc is a lot of shizz hitting the fan, and soul-mate type connections flailing about all over the place. I suppose Neptune/Venus evokes such idealised, rarified expectations of what true love should look like, so then we look at our real life relationships, with all their perfectly natural flaws and misunderstandings (Neptune is BIG on wtf style mixed messages and delusional attempts at 'communication'); and when they

A MOON to BREAK the RULES BY

New Moon in Sagittarius, exact 9.29 tonight AEDT. I was going to say that Saggitarian energy is all about breaking the rules, but now that I think about it; real Saggies are more likely to swan around completely oblivious that there are any rules, or conveniently assuming they don't apply to them, as such, or even tearing down the fence like an untamed animal, and run of to wilder pastures, than bother to make a fuss about breaking the dominant paradigm-that's more for Aquarius. And it just so happens that this Sag Moon also involves the very Aquarian Uranus; so we are busting a move one way or another and fuqing off any restrictions, rules or regulations that cramp our wildling style.

VENUS in SCORPIO DOESN'T GIVE a FUQ

Image: Jocelon Janon So love goddess Venus slithered into Scorpio today, 2.15pm December 5th, AED (Did anyone feel the temperature suddenly turn up a few notches this afternoon?) I've said this before, but it's worth noting that Venus is said to be in her 'detriment' in Scorpio. Is this because Venus is meant to be the ultimate sweety-pie, people pleasing 'girly' feminine archetype, and Scorpio is pure, raw, fuq-you sexual voraciousness -and those two things are meant to be mutually exclusive? Well, yes, apparently; but Venus is the Queen of Heaven and one of our most ancient, powerful figures of autonomous female potency. The love goddess LOVES being in Scorpio -it's her annual chance to ge

The WARRIOR & the BITCH GODDESS HOOK UP?

So Warrior god Mars is right now exactly conjunct Bitch goddess Lilith. The raw masculine power of Mars is already having to polish up is act, stay classy and you know, control his more primal urges in luvvy Libra. And now he meets the original woman-on-top, queen Lilith herself. Lilith don't take no crap from so called male dominance. I mean we can see patriarchal notions of gender identity falling apart round our ears right now, obviously (I'm still trying to work out what the fuq cis actually means); so it's certainly not the season for playing 'nice', submissive female roles vs big strong bullyboy masculinity, or even more subtle, culturally sophisticated versions thereof. It's not e

PISCES HOROSCOPE for DECEMBER 2015

PISCES/PISCES RISING ​Ok, so here’s the deal. You are a magical creature driven by pure, raw inspiration, creative mojo and tidal emotional instincts that come and go with the unpredictable power of the cosmos. Yep, you’re a bone fide boho, visionary, otherworldly, free spirit type who won’t be contained by conventional work-practice or bourgeois expectations.But Saturn in your biz sector is like, here are the rules for a successful career; they involve a hard-core work ethic, towing the societal line (to some extent), doing the paperwork/turning up on time, and firm professional boundaries about how you conduct thyself. Aargh, but you hate rules, regulations and boundaries right? Especially