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VENUS is SUCH A LUSH in TAURUS

So Venus rules beauty, pleasure, that which we desire, romantic love and attraction, relationships, good conversation, creativity and the arts. Her 'airy' manifestation is Libra- intelligent relating, abstract, idealised notions of romance, aesthetic arty genius, stylish living etc. But her 'earthy' manifestation lies in Taurus- kinaesthetic physical chemistry, comfortable relating, hugging, touching, fuqing (and not too much unnecessary chat in between lol), eating, drinking, the tactile feel of nice textiles/cushions/plush sofas etc in home decor and the tactile feel of nice fabrics/glossy hair/glowing skin/ the right personal scent etc in beauty and the tactile experience of hands-on, get

GREAT, MERCURY RETRO AGAIN!?

So the May scopes, coming up soon, talk about just how many goddamn planets are travelling retrograde right now. It's like every aspect of our lives are in slo-mo, one-step-forward-three-steps-back frustration mode. It's character building, long-term strategy time for sure... And tomorrow, 3.19am AEST is Mercury retrograde in Taurus until May 22nd... The god of wit, ideas and breezy communication backwards in the most earthy, literal-minded sign of all? I mean Taurus doesn't like to crap on with fancy dialogue at the best of times, it's more about action speaks louder than words; so here Mercury has to adapt to walking the talk rather than just talking it, and so do we. It's all about showin

MAY is when we PLAY OUR CARDS RIGHT

May horoscopes are up! And ok I'm not suggesting we lush out and hit the bottle, as per the pic above (lol), but god it's tempting! I mean with every-bloody-planet retrograde this month it feels like 'aint nothing coming together anytime soon, it's all to bloody hard so why not fuq it all off and go randomly play poker with life/take some ridiculous risk/slack off/throw it all away on a whim cos where's all my perseverance getting me anyway?' Again, understandable but no no no. The thing is that May is the perfect time to nail down our best, savvy, long term strategies in life and prepare ourselves to take plenty of time to artfully, patiently, intelligently get them right! We have so many c

TAURUS HOROSCOPE for MAY

TAURUS/TAURUS RISING Ok so how about stubborn Saturn and Mars bolting backwards in your sex/money sector all May- it’s a month of brooding power trips, going over (and over) emotionally stuck old conversations and re-thinking tough strategies for sure! You can’t actually force any intimate, financial or biz scenarios for a while-until mid August, to be exact- but you can carefully untangle/avoid any dramas as they arise, and intelligently plot your next big sexual/fiscal, political offensive for August. So what you want to jump on, meanwhile, is a spectacular New Moon in your sign on May 7th. This is a beautiful re-boot of your own gorgeous mojo, with a chance to throw your best articulate c

GEMINI HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

GEMINI/GEMINI RISING The New Moon of the 7th is a nice chance to tune into the emotional realities of your life right now -which I think you’re going to enjoy. This Moon is a grand trine, where your truer feelings can flow freely through all aspects of your life, and you can allow yourself a sense of being in the flow of things as they are–sans too much analysis. Ok, so all the retrograde action of this Moon means every personal scenario in your life- spiritual/psycho-sexual/domestic, is still in big flux; so you accept that you can’t force the issue for a while, but rather relax and allow things to evolve. Nice one, you get a break from the usual non-stop mental chatter you so often subject

CANCER HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

CANCER/CANCER RISING You my be feeling a bit of romantic ennui right now, what with Pluto parked in the same spot in your love sector all month. Your attitude to Mr/Mrs Crab may be like ‘are we going anywhere or what, dude, and btw, you know that emotionally deep convo I tried to start way back when-are you ever going to get back to me on that or do I have to keep hassling for fuqs sake?’ Or if single it’s like ‘hey universe, am I ever going to meet someone worthy of my gorgeousness or WTF do I have to do to get some decent, passionate attention around here???’ Or maybe it’s more a frustration around a biz/creative partnership that’s challenging your patience right now? Something genuinely,

LEO HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

LEO/LEO RISING The New Moon of the 7th, in your biz sector is a cracker! Venus brings any native talent, creative brilliance and self-expressive mojo beating in your fiery Leo heart to the forefront of your current career prospects. I mean you’re no shrinking violet, and not scared of the whole shameless self-promotion thing at the best of times, and right now is peak opportunity to own it. You have an amazing raw talent, you know it; and now is the time to test that conviction by letting the rest of the world about is as well. You’re in full show-off, professional confidence mode and it becomes you! And for goodness sake, you also have lucky Jupiter in your earning sector right now! It’s re

VIRGO HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

VIRGO/VIRGO RISING Mars backwards in your home sector says you might want to pause any big domestic decisions or relocations, and maybe re-think the household feng shui? And particularly not the time to pick any fights with the landlord/co-habs/real-estate type people-most especially treacherous familial politics loaded with brooding aggro are to be avoided at all costs right now. Hold thy fire, and strategically scheme a fab domestic make-over/property purchase/bolt for freedom from control-freaky vibes from August onwards. Worth the wait. Meanwhile, you are loving that the brilliant New Moon of the 7th stars gloriously lucky Jupiter in Virgo, brilliantly aspecting your play and adventure s

LIBRA HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

LIBRA/LIBRA RISING You might be interested to know that Bitch Goddess Lilith completes her 18-month long tour of your sign from the 22nd. So any mission you’ve been on recently to show the world that it can’t fuq with you, that you’re one elegantly tough cookie behind the sweetie-pie charm and flex some self-empowered muscle in life is now drawing to a close. The Full Moon of the 22nd integrates a healthily uncompromising, deeply self-assured attitude in your psyche; and it’s now time go forth and walk that talk happily, without the burden of feeling you have anything to ‘prove’ to anyone… what a relief! Ok, so Lilith is into your cash/earnings sector, so you know you’re nobodies fool in tha

SCORPIO HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

SCORPIO/SCORPIO RISING If I was hoping to mess with any Scorpio types this month (never a great idea, lol), I would think twice from late May onwards. Bitch goddess Lilith into Scorpio from the Full Moon of May 22nd onwards is a formidable combination. You, my friend, are about to properly own every permission you’ve ever given yourself to be a wildly passionate, fiercely uncompromising, take-no-shizz, don’t explain/don’t complain, truly authentic force of nature. All this stuff is your birthright anyway, it’s just that Lilith reminds you to walk your talk no matter what, and embrace exactly who you are right now-you’ve worked hard enough to be You all these years, why not stand proud in it?

SAGITTARIUS HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

SAGITTARIUS/SAGITTARIUS RISING So Mars backwards in Sag is a bummer, huh? All your best-laid plans feel head-fuqingly stalled, and you’re holed up on your own, trying to keep the faith by scheming various plans that may or may not bear fruit with time. And also busting, with kinaesthetically simmering, volatile energy you want to let loose, and go full-bore aggro/forcing the issue on certain situations that are, frankly, testing your patience beyond what you’d normally ever put up with? I get it! I mean you’ve got taskmaster Saturn in your sign until 2018 (!) forcing you into serious, responsible adulthood, which you loathe, and retrograde since January, so things have been so tediously hard

CAPRICORN HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

CAPRICORN/CAPRICORN RISING Ok so the retrograde action of Mars and your patron planet Saturn in your soul sector is a bit challenging. You know it’s time to pull back and spend some time doing the inner, spiritual/shamanic/personal growth/conquering old psychological demons work, yes? You can feel in your bones it’s appropriate to clean house and cultivate a better relationship with thyself; before you worry too much about the external stuff- but there’s always the anxiety of ‘missing out’ on worldly progress if you’re not constantly out and about hustling the next big thing? It’s a tricky dilemma, but my advice is do surrender to the inner work a bit this month- it makes you a stronger, mor

AQUARIUS HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

AQUARIUS/AQUARIUS RISING You can feel something brewing in your sex/cash sector and you know it’s going to be a big, long-term deal -- but you can’t quite put your finger on what to do about it, just yet? This is lucky Jupiter and the Destiny Point hustling a bang on chance to score more coin/financial freedom and maybe a very promising intimate entanglement; and it’s becoming clearer/more tangible by June. The New Moon of the 7th is a nice little clue about all this. There might be a flash of inspiration re the Aqua home front/family scenario/real-estate biz, which with Mercury retrograde you don’t act on in any contractual or concrete decisions sense; but with Pluto in the background it ge

PISCES HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

PISCES/PISCES RISING Jupiter direct in your love sector from the 9th marks a subtle, but important shift forward in your most important relationships. The New Moon of the 7th is a good time to re-think your communication style, and specifically how you’re going to deal with any particular, currently relevant dialogues with certain people in your life. Love wise, Venus on board says you’re spectacularly charming and full of flirty genius. The Spanish slang term versa comes to mind. It’s the art of whispering sweet nothings and teasing out any romantic possibilities with delightful romantic nonsense; which may or may not go beyond playful repartee, but tends to be sexily thrilling nonetheless.

ARIES HOROSCOPE for MAY 2016

ARIES/ARIES RISING So Mars retrograde is kind of frustrating, huh? I mean fiery Mars is your patron planet, and where you get all that red-hot energy and lust for life of yours –so what to do when Mars is backtracking through your adventure sector for simply months on end? Shelve your mojo and go curl up in a ball somewhere until Mars gets back on track?? Not exactly. I mean it wouldn’t hurt to rest up a bit to the extent you’re a little more drained than usual right now, but it’s really more about regenerative activity that renews your life-force: hiking outdoors, communing with nature, yoga studies, burying yourself in an academic/writing bender with future potential, a nice little holiday

PRINCE of HEARTS

Well it's one of those years when the gods are apparently calling the beautiful ones back home-for who knows what brilliant adventures amongst the stars... Vale Prince x I don't have much to add to all the heartfelt obituaries posted today; more that I have been struck how many people have been moved by Prince, in their formative years, to more fully express their wild creativity, sexual confidence and fluidity and own their sense of 'difference' from whatever mainstream crap by his glorious self-assurance, and what better legacy can an artist ask for? I think someone wrote that he (and Bowie) revelled in an 'expansive, almost luxuriant sense of what it is to be a man' which is pretty nice.

FULL MOON SCORPING

Image: Myrna Loy, Paris 1960, by Edouard Boubat. Full Moon in Scorpio coming up, 3.23pm April 22nd AEST. Full Moons tend to release any emotions that have been building up during the month, and especially the really pent up feelings can sometimes can come bursting through quite dramatically-hence the whole howling at the Full Moon thing. And the Scorpio Full Moon can be particularly volatile in this regard; it's like our annual big chance to get in touch with our real desires and primal emo truth-the good, bad, ugly and wonderfully, wildly satisfying to express-ready or not! And this Moon is also conjunct bitch goddess Lilith, who aint remotely interested in fuqing around with inauthentic cr

MARS in SAG PART 2: the RETROGRADE

Those of you who have been been following the Vikings will recall how Ragnar, after trying in vain to sack Paris with nothing but his usual brute, overwhelming force pulled back and tried a different tack recently. Calling on his more wily nature, he hatched an elaborate plan to feign defeat, play dead and make his way into the city in a coffin. From which he, of course, later sprung free and got his claws into the golden city from within. Not that I fully understood this weird plot-line (lol); but I'm going to use it as a metaphor for warrior god Mars pulling back, retrograde from April 17th until late June anyway... Wherever we have been banging away, recently, trying to force our biggest

MEMO for LOVERS

Image: Bob Dylan and Sara Lownds, 1975 So it's not really the easiest time for love lately; there's too much personal-growth tension in the air to really flow with romantic good times, for many of us... There's Saturn square Neptune squashing delusions all over the place, and our most cherished illusions are so often the idealised, soul-matey romantic ones, yes? And Neptune loves a dreamy, completely unrealistic, complex soulmate scenario, but Saturn says na, nada, gone: only the most grounded, deeply authentic 'soul-connections' /love stories etc whatever are going to survive the profound reality check of 2016. But the ones that do survive, and thrive, will of course be rockingly rock solid

NEW MOON CLARITY coming right UP

New Moon in Aries, 9.23pm tomorrow, April 7th, AEST -and it's going to be a stunner! And it's worth making a note of the exact time of this one (as above), because we ideally schedule any bold or decisive moves/conversations/action after that time, and not a moment before. And here's why: One of the astro themes of late has been Chiron, the fixer of wounds, hanging out with the South Node of ancient shizz and old karma. It's like the psychic equivalent of going into the attic and pulling out one of those long lost boxes of old photos/family heirlooms/forgotten love letters/childhood trophies and mementoes etc and sifting through them real good. There might be some stinging nostalgia for time